I am a Quitter and I am Proud of it
This might seem like an inappropriate headline or an unpopular opinion, but if it wasn't for my ability to quit, I wouldn't be where I am today.
My story of how I became a mindset, life and law of attraction coach is filled with me quitting.
It has not been a straight or obvious road to get here, with the highest highs and the lowest of lows.
On hindsight, one the things I am most proud of is the fact that I am a QUITTER! Funny thing to be proud of.
Before I get to that, let me share what my life was like back in 2010, where I thought I had it all.
I had a stable job with Microsoft. The immediate respect and credibility that I earned from people when I told them who my employer was, used to be such an ego boost. I earned $80k a year plus benefits. I don't share this to be vulgar, but to tell you that when I decided to walk away from it, it was the most terrifying decision in the world, because of how much money was on the line.
Who on earth, walks away from a $100k job (when you included the health benefits, corporate perks and bonuses) just because they don't feel like it anymore?
I had a new baby at the time, a nanny, we had just bought a brand new home, two cars and I had come off a 5 month paid maternity leave. Pretty cushy life, right?
So why would I walk away from it all? Because deep down, my life felt heavy. Nothing in it filled me with joy to the tips of my toes. Despite a brand new baby, a loving husband and a supportive employer, something was OFF. I couldn't tell what it was.
“The scariest part of change, is coming to terms with your dissatisfaction and pain. ”
My soul was telling me that the right next step was TO QUIT! But I wasn't hearing anything beyond that.
QUIT and then what?! How can I walk away from $100k with no fall back plan?
I thought I was broken and felt so much anguish. Why couldn't I just force myself to maintain the status quo for a few more weeks? Just tough it out and see if I changed my mind. The more I thought of enduring it, the louder my intuition got.
Those were the days, where I didn't know that your intuition
could speak to you and guide you through life.
would never let you down
needed you to just take the next step, without knowing the full journey.
didn't really give a rat's ass about money, but was hell bent on getting you to heed your ultimate calling in life.
So I did the unthinkable and handed in my resignation without a PLAN. Within 6 weeks of quitting, a new plan appeared. My heart told me to become a sleep consultant. It was the first time in my life that I had ever thought about running my own business.
Now, not only was I no longer making $100k a month, I needed to invest around $10k to get my business off the ground. But I felt something coursing through my veins for the first time in a long time - excitement, purpose and massive leaps in my growth and expansion.
After 2 years as a sleep consultant, with mediocre success, I got the same feeling again. That restlessness, that knowing that it was time for things to change.
I felt a really strong call to join network marketing, which gets the worst reputation from people who are not in the industry. You hear of scams, soul less selling, sleazy tactics but none of this put me off. I just knew I HAD to do this.
But it was mixed with the doubt of "Am I quitting because I am not doing well in this business or am I quitting because it no longer fills me with joy?" The answer wasn't clear, but I when I thought about continuing with sleep consulting it didn't feel limitless or expansive. I took that to be a good enough sign.
So I QUIT sleep consulting and started out in my network marketing business, with a $1,000 investment this time.
About 2 years into my network marketing business, I hit a serious plateau again. I felt stagnant and as though I was in a hamster wheel, spinning faster and faster, but going NOWHERE.
That's when I got my next nudge - invest in a coach.
My first coach cost $3,600 to work with her for three months. This investment was scarier than the first two investments I made. Because this wasn't in a business. This investment was in ME in exchange for something intangible. What would I have at the end to show for it?
I wrestled with this for exactly 24 hours.
I couldn't bring myself to talk to my husband about it, because what if he didn't agree with me? Would I let him talk me out of it? What if I didn't want to be talked out of it? Was I selfish? Was I throwing money down the drain? Was I taking my kids' college tuition away? But didn't what I want count for something?
These are the crazy thoughts that ran through my mind. But yet again, I took the chance with no guarantees of it ever working out.
As a result of that investment, my life has never looked the same. Working with that life coach made me realize that I could live life, not from a frantic "will this ever happen for me?" and "what if I don't make it?" feeling, to, "it's all happening for me" and "of course I am going to make it" feeling.
It made me realize that my life was not really reality. It was my personally constructed view of the world, based on fear based thoughts, lack based stories, past memories and other people's belief systems which had been handed down to me.
Working with my coach made me come ALIVE from the top of my head to the tips of my toes because I got to release so much junk and baggage that I had been holding on to for YEARS without any knowledge. I was rejuvenated and for the time, crazy drunk with joy and high on life.
Working with that coach planted the seed in me to one day become a coach (that happened a year later). But I had to quit and restart so many times.
But without these stop-starts, I wouldn't have been led to the life I am living today.
Today, I work 20 hours a week. On average make $10k - $13k a month. I know it's only a matter of time before that scales, because I have decided it is so. I have opportunities flow into my life, without me chasing after them. I take naps during the day, work till 2 AM because I want to, do the work that makes my heart burst with joy because what I do changes people's lives for the better.
BUT all of this just didn't land on my lap. I wrestled with my heart and my mind. I had to make investments in myself that made me feel sick the next day. Every time I took a step forward I had NO IDEA if it was the right next thing.
Learning to trust the process has been some of the hardest work I’ve had to do.
Every risk and every leap of faith I’ve taken, I’ve had to let go of the need for guaranteed returns and surrender to the moment. I have had to let go of the idea of a "perfect time" because there is no 'feeling ready'.
Now I know, that if you have read this far, this story resonates with you, because you too have wrestled with your heart and mind.
We find it really easy to invest in things outside of ourselves - homes, stocks, bonds, etc. But somehow investing in ourselves, in our personal growth and development (ex. personal trainer, life coach, dietitian etc.) doesn't seem so safe.
Am I crazy to spend this? Will this even work? Can I afford this? What if I am the one person that it doesn't work for? I will wait to do it when there is more money in my bank.
The opportunity to give up on ourselves always exists. The chance to back down and not believe in ourselves always exists.
We all have opportunities to buy into fear, to stop believing in ourselves and our power, to decide good things don't last, and to wonder whether all of "this" work even works.
I have been there countless times myself. But I always do the internal work to come back to myself. To choose LOVE. To believe that everything always works out for me.
And the crazy thing is that it always has!
Choosing to invest in yourself and your mindset (especially if this is your first time), can be TERRIFYING! Like standing on the edge of a cliff and being asked to bungee jump and trusting that the rope is just the right length and won't break.
It's time to view the world as a place that's waiting to give you everything you desire and live in the energy of flow + ease + abundance.
There are two ways you can work with me right now - through private coaching and my 6 week Manifestation Made Easy group coaching program.
Set up a clarity call with me for private coaching or learn more about Manifesting Made Easy by clicking below.